I haven't always walked with God. There was a time when I ran from God. Because I truly had no idea Who God really is. I had some school smarts, but no life smarts. I kept making one bad decision after another. I never tried to make anything of myself. I never tried to be better than I was. I didn't know I could. I went from being a mouse my whole life to a bitch by senior year. I graduated high school, but that's it. Got my first car and had my first accident. Got a job, met a drug dealer, made new crazy friends who also had self-destruct buttons. Spent the next four years partying everyday. Wasted my money, my time and my life. Met a man who loved me enough to get me clean and sober and pregnant. Had my first baby alone. Stayed clean and sober. But still I had no roots, no foundation on which to build a life.
Met another man. Gave my heart to him, too. Started drinking again because I was weak. United his children with mine and gave birth to twins. Found God. And Jesus Christ. And the Holy Spirit. Quit drinking. Now I had roots and a viable foundation. Which I would soon find tested. He found another woman, I filed for divorce and found new place to live. God found me a new place to grow and blossom.
Went from being a party girl to a Sunday School teacher, a Singles' leader and a preacher. God brought a man into my life and we became friends first. Dated for 2 years, then got married. Now he teaches Sunday School and I preach on the 'net. Isn't God amazing?
I have a firm foundation. I still make decisons, but I don't make them alone. My self-destruct button is broken and my joy in Christ is renewable energy daily.
But the repercussions of being stupid for so long appear to be what my body is reaping now. I am still saved. I am still serving. I am still walking in power and authority of Jesus Christ. But I am sick because of all the weeds I have allowed into the Garden of my life. Now I am ready for God to pull the roots of these weeds out of my heart and my mind, that more room would be made for His glory to take up residence in me.
